a rat's life

The human giants are all asleep, but not me and my colony of rats. We're wide awake, and looking for food. People often consider us rats as pests and lazy creatures, but if you could peek inside our colony for even five minutes, you'd be surprised. We're gravely underestimated! We make awesome pets and are the polar opposite of lazy. 

While all the other rats are looking for food, I have to stay home and take care of my newest, and first, litter of baby rat pups. They're tiny little things, hairless and pink with their little eyes shut closed. The biggest pup opens one eye, then carefully opens the other. The remaining five pups follow. I smile to myself (yes, we rats are every bit as empathetic as you humans), proud that my first litter had all survived being born.

The other rats are back from foraging for food, and they deliver some to my nest. My pups can't eat solid food yet, so I have to keep nursing them. It's boring work, just sitting around with nothing to do, but I'll manage.

My mate and I are sitting in our nest when we hear that sound. "BAM! BAM! BAM!" No worries, it's just human footsteps. But to sensitive rat ears, they sound really loud. 

We grab the pups and huddle in the back of our nest, away from the humans. If those two-legged giants find us, we'll all be dead, and no one wants that. Not all humans are like the ones who live in our house (but claim it's theirs, even though we were here before they were). In fact, some are extremely kind to rats. I think it was just bad luck that made us live with this family...

It's almost too late. One of the two-legged giants looks into my nest. I can see her huge blue circle-shaped organ (is it supposed to be an eye?!) blocking the hole we use to enter our nest. Then there's her shrill voice screaming, "Honey! Come over here right this INSTANT! This house is INFESTED with RATS!!!!!!! Call the exterminator!!!!!"

We rats are clever enough to understand most human speech. From what I've heard, she wants us dead. And that's not going to happen. 

The other two-legged giant yells, in his low voice, "Remember that today's the exterminator's day off? Don't worry, dear, I have some mousetraps that are bound to work."

I recognize the word "mousetraps" and know that we'll easily be able to save ourselves. Mousetraps are easy to spring, and extremely easily noticable. Besides, they contain cheese, which is actually bad for us rats. 

With no reason to worry, my mate and I play with the pups. They're so adorable and helpless, and I can't imagine that eighteen human months ago, I was just like them. After playing in our nest, we decide to take the pups over to my sister's nest, so they can play with her pups, who are slightly older. However, there's a mousetrap right outside our door. I quickly find a splinter of wood and use it to set off the trap, letting us cross safely over. 

We get to my sister's nest and see that she and her mate are there, as well as all four of their pups. My pups, eager to have some cousins to play with, eagerly run over and try to talk to my sister's pups. (Rats have our own language, which consists mainly of body cues, squeaks, and tooth grinding.) Their attempt at conversation is so far from fluent that it's very cute. They crawl off with their cousins and start playing, and I can hear happy shrieks of laughter coming from them. While they play, my mate and I have a quick snack, then talk to my sister and her mate about the Mousetrap/Exterminator Problem. My sister says it's nothing too bad, that the exterminator isn't coming anytime soon and the mousetraps are so easily avoided that they're pointless. I agree with her, but I still have a flick of fear left in my tender rat heart.

My mate, our pups, and I head back to our nest. I find time to nurse the pups and tell them stories. It's so close to bedtime that they fall asleep, so that's what my mate and I do. I can't sleep well, because of the fear that we'll all die out. But then I remember my sister's words and I know that we rats can take any challenge the humans give us. After all, we're one of the best-adapted species on the planet (humans included)!!!!

Coming soon: a random chat which my friend Jen *MADE* me post.