an autobiography (for a contest, which i got honorable mention in)

I never really know how to describe myself. Around some people, I'm either extraordinarily hyper or extraordinarily sad, and around others, I'm really calm and keep to myself. Sometimes I just take extreme risks for the fun of it, but I can be really practical as well. I've never told anyone this before, but I'm not comfortable telling the truth most of the time. It's always either too boring or too interesting, too happy or too traumatic. Whenever I need to write about my life for an assignment, I really twist the details to get people to like me. (But this once, I'll try my hardest not to twist the truth.) And it was this that led people to believe that I wasn't "for real." They didn't want to hang out with a liar like me.

I've never had too many friends. In preschool, there was only one girl in my class who liked me even the tiniest bit, and even she didn't talk to me that often. Fifth grade was by far the worst year of my life, with the whole school bullying me, and to make matters worse, my only real friend had moved away a year eariler. During this year, I'd been cyberbullied really severely too. I thought that it was something about my looks that led people to hate me, so I started eating way less and spending too much time making sure that I didn't look weird. (I also started being so nice to others that I'm scared they're taking advantage of me.) This is one of the reasons I'm extremely camera shy. I'm afraid that people will see how ugly I am and my few friends will leave me. But I'm slowly overcoming that fear, with help from a girl I'll call Emily, who was in my band class. She didn't care that my nose was too big or that my hair never stayed in place. She only knew me as the tall kid who could play the flute really well, and she asked me to help her get the fingerings right. Before we knew it, we were inseparable best friends. Now, whenever someone bullies one of us, the other always stands up. For example, a random fourth grade boy was stalking Emily online and calling her mean names. Emily gave me the boy's email, and I stalked him right back and made him stop.

Back in fifth grade, despite the cyberbullying, I was one of the best students in not just the school, but the entire state! This year, I'm excelling academically again, but not as well. It's probably because I have a lot more homework, and staying organized is not one of my strong points. To make up for this, I have a pretty good memory, which is why I've been known as the "antisocial geek girl." These labels used to bother me, but I got used to them. That's the good thing about being bullied: you get better at standing up to people.

I'm unsure how to end this because I haven't had much practice ending stories (I have a hard time finishing something once I start it). So I guess I'll conclude with an overview of me: I have different personalities around different people, but I'm almost always rebellious and independent, wishing for someone who listened to every crazy idea I have.

Thanks for reading this! Next up is a story about rats.